Wednesday 25 July 2012

Silence vs Music

We hear it everywhere, (if like me you listen to music) don't stop the music, turn up the music and so on, so forth. But why? Why does the world insist that we have something to listen to? Is it for the simple reason that the artists who make music want money or is it because without it people would have nothing interesting to do and say?

I am afraid of silence. There I said it. I agree it is sort of weird to be scared of  such a innocent thing, and whilst I can go without hearing anything and I won't get fidgety and anxious or scream or anything, I don't like silence. Silence is a raging and out of control fire that licks at your soul until you are bare and exposed. When silence hits me, my ears tune into anything that is making a sound. I hear a stick crack, a bird jump from branch to branch, my silent breathing becomes concise and defined. I reach for my phone, my iPod any form of sound making thing on me, if I don't have a technological device I click, hum or just tune into any sounds around me.

Sometimes I go for a walk, and it gets quite silent. My ears tune into the surroundings. The most beautiful thing that happens is that by doing this I instantly get relaxed and can forget the world for a moment. I listen to the crunch of grass blades as they are crushed under my heel, I listen to the birds making their song, and imagine the words of a song I know inserted into this space. Life is truly complete when we can accept and acknowledge the little things that make our world an amazing and stunning space that is at our feet.

I recently bought a new iPod (a white 64gb :) and because I ordered it through the Apple Store online I received a free engraving. I chose the quote:

'Music is Perpetual, only the hearing is intermittent'
This is a quote by I can't remember who, but I am sure that if you googled it, you would find it :).  To me this quote couldn't be more true, we can choose whether we want to hear the music or not, and to always hear the music is something I have promised myself to do always.

My music taste: I love all music really, anything from screamo to indie, heavy metal to pop. The only thing I ask for is a topic that matters. After this, everything will come into perspective. Of course everyone has their own opinion of what topics matter and what doesn't so all songs are beautiful to their own individual audience. Recently however, I have found myself listening to indie and hip-hop/rap. Completely different genre's I know but they just connect with me. Anyone who says music is not educational has not listened to a good rapper. A good rapper uses new and exciting vocabulary that challenges it's listeners and introduces them to new ways of speaking. Indie is just the soft music and the music that relaxes me in every way because it seems as though it is picked and derived from the environment around us.

Getting back to the topic: Silence vs Music. Who wins? Obviously Music. You may think that my opinion is slightly biased as I am afraid of Silence, but I'm sure many, given the opportunity, would choose music over silence. There is something out there in music for everyone, something to sooth or work up and it has been proven to be good in many different circumstances.

Circumstance 1: 'Helps' you lose weight and stay motivated when working out.
Circumstance 2: Allows you to express your true feelings without being violent, putting your feelings on the line or making a fool of yourself.
Circumstance 3: Proven to be of great help to patients with depression and/or anxiety.

Just 3 cases where music is helpful to you and everyone around you. So take the advise of David Bowie, and 'Listen to the music'. :)

                                                                                                                                       Maddy x

Tuesday 26 June 2012

Mistakes.

What defines a mistake? If you look up the definition on google you get this; An action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. But I dont find that quite accurate. I believe it it more like this; An action or thought that when proven to be wrong is a learning curve. I think everyone should learn from their mistakes and instead of looking back at them as the thing you did wrong, you should look back and think "yeah, I did that wrong but if I hadn't of I wouldn't be who I am today. Thats what all kids do when they are in the early stages of their lives, they eat dirt, don't like the taste then don't do it again. I think that children and babies are actually the smartest people out. They enjoy the simplicities of life and have all the friends of their class/daycare group. They don't care what others think too much and they aren't shy to state their mind. But us, in our old and intellegent, sofisticated and mature minds don't do this because it would be wrong. Too bad I guess for those hundreds and thousands of people out there who are just like you and do not want to speak their mind for fear of being a minority. They do not want to make the 'mistake' of putting their true sleves on the line to say what they feel and do whatever they want because, who knows? They may just loose their job because of it, become a accidental celebrity and have their 15 minutes of fame all for the wrong reasons, this cannot be any more true. I am guilty of this, I never say or do what I feel because, I guess, thats just not the done thing. If I were to know everything I said or did was annomus then I would go about living life to the fullest and filling out my bucketlist and not see anything as a mistake, ever. But, I lack courage. I have done such things in the past and ended up with a lot of mistakes and regrets and actions and sayings that I cannot undo, cannot re-live, cannot think about in more detail. I have learnt that this is not how society works and how us, as the 'generation of the future' are the underdogs who always have to make the rest of the world believe, trust and most importantly, acknowledge us for who we are. Winston Churchill once said:

'"No comment" is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again.'
 Well, do you know what Churchill? So is the rest of the world, we are constantly sitting on the fence and becoming the invisable to society people who, as soon as a foot is stepped wrong will have their backs stabbed and their friends turned into enemies. I was watching T.V. the other night when an advertisement for a comedians show came on. I was watching as he said:
'"Why do chickens alwyas walk as if they are walking in a minefield?"'
Then continued to engage in a rather funny looking but very true representation of a chickens walk. Perhaps we don't give chickens enough credit. For they are the ones who have realised that a small step could have their heads chopped off and their bodies served up for dinner.

                                                                                                                                      Maddy x

Cold

Today I write about the cold. It's not ging to be your average run-of-the-mill blog about the weather no! This is a rant about cold weather. Let me just begin, by telling you my story: For the past 4 years I haven't experienced a winter in Australia, as such, because I normally go north (toward the equator) during the normal winter/dry season/whenever cold weather is around (about May - October in the southern Hemisphere and October - May in the Northern hemisphere) and that gives me a lazy 27*C every day with nice sunny weather and long days at the beach and pools. The end. I have recently had to come back from the beautiful, sunny, warm, idylic weather that is Broome because of circumstances I care not to disclose. It's FREEZING!! Perhaps it is because my blood has thinned or something but still, there is no reason the earth should be this cold. Whilst I probably do need to get a bag of cement and 'toughen up princess' I am still doing my best to rug up and try -to no avail- stay warm and do excercise. Yesterday I had a thick scarf, a bamboo shirt (it is a soft and warm fabric made of Bamboo similar to a wooly silk but not quite the same), two thick jumpers, leggings, thick trackies, woolen socks and Ugg boots also gloves and ear-muffs. I was still cold. I went in to see my old boss and she said:

"Oh, have you put on weight?"

Me: *:O* "Nah, I am just wearing loads of clothing and I stopped short of wearing thermal underwear." Which, might I add, was true. That night I didn't go out for my normal nightly jog at 5pm to keep up my fitness and make me stay nice and warm because it was too cold and my mother said I might catch a cold. News - I have a cold anyway. So as I write this I am wiping a snotty nose, wearing much the same clothes as I did yesterday, rugging up in 2 thick doonas in a heated room, sipping a hot chocolate and eating Tim Tams (an Australian delacisy). I am wondering what I can do to get out of this cold and back into the warm weather without having to leave my humble abode or escape my doonas which have been ever so kind to me these past few days. Any suggestions? Please let me know in the comments belowww. Meanwhile I will continue to freeze in this cold cold place they call a town and await your cmments. Have a cool day! I know I will be.

                                                                                                                                   Maddy x

Friday 13 April 2012

Don't know...

 So today is exactly what i'm thinking no overly deep metaphorical babbling just me. As of late i have been listening to the music that suits and reflects how i feel at the very moment i am listening to it and it varies from idie to rap, reggae to country. Every tune and word lingers well after the song has finished and i am still trying to find the true meaning and find how i relate to that song, but after many hours of thinking how this could mean that or that could mean this, I give up. I then wonder, is that how i go through my life? Do i work so hard on something only to just give up? Everything i do is it ever for a purpose or is it just the selfish satisfaction i get from doing something, if for anything, for me. When i give advice do i trust it, the person i am giving it to obviously does but if i was put in the same position would i trust and obey my own instructions? Somehow i don't, i guess being the only person in my life who truely knows how, what and why i think and act, i don't. It is this self-doubt that tells me everything i say is a lie, a joke, an act. How does one over come such a hurdle? Break this haunting habit? I can't.

 With this, once again, leads to another thought (when does anything not?); what i've done, what i will do, and how i will/have go about it? Everything i have done, for as long as i can remember, i have thought long and hard about something, planned a mini speach in my head on the invisable paper that floats around waiting for something to be noted, then not said a word of it, instead saying what i know people want to hear, what will make them happy and reassured. Every thing i wanted to say being flushed down the toilet never to be able to be let out of it's prison cell that is my mind. From then on, i think about what i should have said, what i should have done and everything i wanted to do but didn't. In this same way i think about the future, what i want to do, how i want to do it and everything that will stem from it. Nothing ever happens. I want so bad just to be acknowldged as the girl who did what she wanted without thinking, but in a way, i am like the things i wanted to be said -locked in a body that does not seem like the one that matches the mind. Because of the person i have become, anything i do has to be thought of carefully, the repercussions, the things i want to do but can't make my body carry out the actions. How will it impact on everything else in the world? This sounds big as if i'm the biggest slice of pie on the plate, bit instead i am a tiny speck of dust going about what seems to be a pointless adventure.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safetly in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used, extreamly worn out and loudly proclaiming - "WOW, what a ride!".

My intention is the latter but it seems the best i can manage is the former.  Somehow everything i try and control, i can't. Can't. That word makes me shiver, because, for some unknown reason i don't like the way everything shuts down in my face, dreams and futures and past's gone with the mention of that one word. Can't.

                                                                                             Maddy x

Thursday 29 March 2012

Friends

WOW! so with quite a few of my last blog's they haven't been quite that inspiring or uplifting and I am very sorry for that, my blog's are just a conscious stream of thought about what is worrying me, making me happy etc. Today's blog (as you can clearly guess by the title) is about Friends. Lately I have been lucky enough to make quite a few new friends, just by striking up a completely random conversation and smiling and being friendly because the truth is nobody in this world wants to be alone no matter how much they try and say so, they don't. Anyone providing they are not in a hurry or doing anything in particular will be happy to strike up a conversation about anything and everything, and if you are looking for a relationship you might just be able to use one of those famous pick up lines you have swarming around in your head ;). Some people just don't get the fact that i have just stated, they think that people will think they are weird and judge them straight away when they are honestly very good people, so even though part of this is true and first impressions do last it's not that bad! I have a friend who is like this; she constantly thinks she has no friends, even when she has so many she just doesn't care to notice, she thinks that people will think she is weird if she asks for their number when she has known them for a whole term and has been sitting and conversing with them daily! I have told her to just ask because the worst thing they can say is 'no' and then they will soon forget about it anyway! She just can't bring herself to do it, which is such a shame because anybody would be really lucky to have her as a friend because she is pretty, smart and so trustworthy! To all you people out there like this I encourage you to take a deep breath and go for it! Just start up a conversation, talk that guy/girl you have always wanted to, ask for a number and just go out and live life to the fullest! Because after all;
"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith"
-Margaret Shepherd
Maddy x

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Death

Nobody like's it, no body wants it, many are scared of it. I am one of those people who are scared of it, although read my first blog and you will see i am slowly getting over that. It seems though that unless you are scared of it you never really think about it until it comes knocking at your life's door. You might see the occasional person in a hospital looking really ill, then get told that they were to absquatulate soon but you never really care profusely until a family member, close friend or pet dies.

I get that it is one of those things that happen to the young and old, poor and rich, famous and beggers. But I don't get why. Why does life have to be so unfair to take the ones you love away from you, to take something you loved with all your heart and then just destroy them? Occasionally making them suffer and try and fight with the pain until their heart gives out and they are left at their final resting place with only memories of the pain that they endured and the way everyone will remember them being a sick and sad valetudinarian.

I would like to just say now that this is something that has become close to my heart recently. I do not wish death on anyone especially the people I love, afterall, everybody is someones brother, sister, daughter, son, uncle, aunt, mother father. I do wish that if i could do just one thing before they died, i would grant them their one wish in the world and pause time just so i could do this, then tell them how much i loved them, but of course isn't this what every one wants to do for a loved one?

Thursday 8 March 2012

Kind Words

I figured I am always going on about how i would like the world to be a better place and how every one should act in order to achieve this so i should just re-enforce that view with a quote then maybe I may be rid of it from my system. The quote is:


"Kind words do not cost much but they accomplish much".

Well this is completely true apart from the first half that states that kind words do not cost much. -They cost nothing at all! and who knows you might just gain something. I know at work I have to use manners and be nice to all the customers otherwise my boss will fire me, but I do it anyway because it makes me feel better not being rude.

Tonight at my basketball on one of the other courts (not my game) a girl got a tech foul for swearing at the umpire, why swear? It shows a lack of vocabulary and poor use of language, not only that half the time it is used out of it's context. I know different people will have different views on this and i acknowledge and accept that but honestly?, Do you like when people swear at you and say mean words to you? I know I don't, it brings ones self-esteem down and makes people self-conscious about everything they do. How would you feel if you said something mean and derogatory to someone then the next day you found out they committed suicide? It could have been because of what you said and now you have potentially just killed some innocent person who is someones brother/sister/mother/father/daughter/son/cousin/aunt/uncle/only friend.

All I ask is stop with the nasty words, I sound like a Nanny here but, don't say something if you haven't got something nice to say. Whats the point of it, there isn't one. While you may not be like me and being nice may not make you feel better, it will make you look better, you will have strong will power and appear smarter.             -Be nice!-

                                                                                                   Maddy x

Saturday 3 March 2012

Photo's

Photo's. The one thing that can hold a memory and 1000+ words in the one 6x4 frame (sometimes bigger..). When you flip through photo's it brings back memories of a time in your life when you were happy, sad, excited, tired, childish, stupid, smart, hippy and so much more. You see a photo and think what you were doing at that time, what was happening, who were you with, what was being said, then you start to think deeper and start thinking about maybe the relationships you have had and possibly still have with those in the picture, the job you had and every other thing starts to flood back unless it is something so bad you have pushed it back to the back of your mind, a time you have forgotten, a time that doesn't represent any part of who you are now.

I think photo's are the one thing that people can hide behind, they can smile and act like they are happy because the picture doesn't show the cuts they have on their wrist, they can look like they don't know somebody is taking the picture of them but really be thinking that as soon as the picture is taken they are going to wrestle the photographer to the ground. But in saying that, can someone really hide? I mean, if you went for a job interview to be a police officer when you were 40 and the person holding the interview had done some digging and found a photo of when you got convicted for murdering a man, you can't hide then, every thing from your past would come right back and shove you in the back.

It's memories. The only reason photo's are still present in the 21st society is because people can let go of their past, their history, the things they did when they were young, how they looked when they were 18, how skinny/fat they were and how they wish they were still at that point in their life, or it could be a constant reminder of our family, friends and the fact that people make mistakes - and nobody ever wants to go back to some mistakes. I know that if i got my way i wouldn't be where i am, i would be in quite a few of my pictures living the life i love with the ones i love. But life can't be perfect so we will just have to live with that, won't we.

                                                                                                         Maddy x

Tuesday 28 February 2012

Depression

Depression, easy to say but hard to overcome. You never know when it will hit you, never know how it feels until you've got it. Don't under-estimate the power of this mental illness. It strikes the young and old, the healthy and the unhealthy, rich and poor. It does not discriminate. Yet, people throw it around in eveyday life, saying things like "I'm so depressed, i don't think he loves me anymore" they see a sad movie and say "that movie has just made me depressed". But do they know how it feels? Have they experienced it for themselves and know the feeling of wanting to kill yourself every day just because you are't happy with one aspect of your life and everything else seems to crumble around you and nothing ever goes right? Most don't. Theres an old saying that says 'nothing is so bad you can't talk about it'. Well once again i don't agree with this, people can bottle things up in their heads and bodies and never want to let the demons escape their scratched dry lips for the fear of someone treating them differently like they can't handle things by themselves. They may be too afraid of talking about their problems because everyone sees them as the smiling shoulder to cry on, the one who's always there for help and advice, the one everyone can count on for support. They don't want others to then see them as someone who has problems, who can't handle the way they think and the way their thoughts are etched in the gaze the have almost constantly. No. They can't tell anyone because once someone knows your secret they have that expression on their face that says they think your a mad man, your a liar, your anything but depressed because they are the ones still smiling after their family has been lost and their lives blown into a million pieces. So i would like to just mention to everyone reading this that next time you see the 'girl next door', 'happy father of 3' or even the local hermit, ask if they are okay, ask how they are feeling and how their lives are going, and even if they don't want to say anything to you then, say to them they can trust you and you are there whenever they need help with anything - and mean it!
                                                                                      Maddy x

Friday 24 February 2012

Sleepovers

So.. tonight my view on sleepovers! Okay so this isn't going to be as inspirational as my previous blogs, so i'm sorry but i want some FUN!. Sleepovers:  spent with awesome friends(emily, theee awweesssooommmeeeessssttttttt!!!!!!) who push you to your limits and make you do crazy things at 8 at night.. (hmm, maybe only rebel for me..) music pumped, poses ready, D n M's on the go. Never wondering what to do next more like, why are we doing this?? <3 Home alone, and i have orders from the 'rents to clean the house! what is this! I thought i lived in a free country, - obviously not.. -. Oh well, still going to be funn with the best of the best. Starting with our nerd glasses attached to our heads and ending with the phone to our ears putting on a dodgy accent and claiming to be from telstra and other various million dollar companies. Movies here we come! bring it!

                                                                                 Maddy x (and Emily xox)

Wednesday 22 February 2012

World Travel

When I'm 21 i want to do a Round the World Trip (RTW) and i want to go with the people i love to the places i adore. I know so many other 16 year olds say this then end up not going through with it because they don't have the money, because they think something bad will happen when they are away. Well, i'm serious about this one. In my head and my diary i have already started planning the trip, i am looking at expenses of air tickets, food, accomodation, places i HAVE to see in order for it to be just like my dreams. I am saving already and it's still another 5-6 years away. I have made my bucketlist of places to go and things to see. I have spoken to people who are doing it or have done it. The truth is i have the travelling bug. Hopefully by the time i'm 17/18 i would have travelled my birth country twice, so i won't need to do that again, (see, i'm already saving money by getting my parents to pay for that one ;-)  I was watching a youtube video the other week just randomly - i didn't even kow what it was about- when i came across this:

"For my part, I trravel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travels sake. The great affair is to move." -Robert Louis stevenson
That was on Team Farang Tour - The Temple, and while i loved seeing what they did at the temple, my mind couldn't stop thinking about that quote. It described me. Who I am, what I'm about. So thats what started all my thinking, i started looking up tips on RTW travel,  how to save money, how to make the most f your trip, where to get jobs, what visa's and passports and everthing else that you'll need. But really, what goes to plan? i know my life hasn't so far.. otherwise i'd be rich and celebrating my 21st at Antartica. I would have already been to 50 countries and seen 20 of the world wonders. I need a break. Everyone has to stop telling me that i won't be able to do it because i am too young and inexperienced. They need to listen, understand and watch me, just watch me. So while they are at home in a tiny villiage, living in a 2 bedroom house feeding 7 kids with 4 jobs, they can think "Wow, Maddy has done some amazing stuff with her life, i can't believe i ever doubted her". So I am going to pay attention to school, i am going to keep dreaming even when people put me down and i am going to enjoy the life while i still have it!

Dream big, enjoy life and you will rake in the benifits of being alive today.

                                                                                                                Maddy x

                                                      





Monday 20 February 2012

First Blog 2012

Well this is my first blog for 2012. I am Maddy and am still only young, but trust me my dreams are big (and i recon i think too much)! I was reading a "1000 things to do before you die" bucket list last night and there was a quote by Jane Fonda. It goes something like this;
"I thought to myself, well if thats the case and if what i'm scared of isn't death but getting to the end with regrets, then i've got to figure out what would be the things i would regret when i got to the last act if i hadn't done nor achieved them by then. And they were; having an intimate relationship and having made a difference."
Well i've got a few points in this quote that i relate to. First of all, the realisation that, like Ms Fonda, my greatest fear wasn't death it's self but dying with regrets. Secondly, having made a difference.. because how hard is it really to make a difference? It could be something so small such as sponsoring a child or teaching a few basic phrases of english to someone illiterate, but then again it could be finding a cure for cancer or curing someone of a disability such as being blind. And it is these people who make a difference that really inspire me and whom i aspire to be like. If there were more people like this, i believe the world would be a better place with less hate and more peace. Of course i can't force people to make a change so i am just going to try make a small change in my self to make me a better person and hopefully lead by example. This quote actually helped me overcome my fear of "death" of which i was quite afraid of. Now i just have to make that bucketlist and start crossing things off to make sure i have no regrets when the last straw is drawn.
                                                                                                               Maddy.